going for it on my own

So...I have decided to do weight watchers online...on my own. I was finding an increased anxiety about going to the weigh ins each friday morning. It started on thursday and would last about 24 hours. I will follow the program, weigh in myself and be forgiving of my mistakes. I guess I know deep down this is my battle and I want to have it be my victory. I do not want a guilt victory...or an anxious one! I will keep you posted.

DEAL OF THE WEEK!!! I thought I would let you know the great deal at my favorite store:
Healthy Heart Granola bars, 6 = .99

Love that store!!!

My favorite store...and the weigh in!!!

So Friday I weighed in after a week of being very vigillant. I dropped 2.4!!! I am now at my lowest weight since being back on WW! I am so happy. I think being back to work is helping. I have more of a schedule and I am too busy to cook. so I eat whatever sweet R perpares for us! So kind of him. I am going to keep on...hopefully I can get to my first 15lb goal by valentines day!

My favorite store: For many people who know me this may be surprising. I am the girls who buys most of my clothes at JCrew, shoes at Nordstrom and makeup at Bare Escentuals. I have Ralph Lauren Dishes, towels and sheets. So you can see that I like name brands, new and clean! But I have a secret love affair with....the grocery outlet! I know, shocking! I went the first time to buy tick tacks. I had spent a few years teasing my Mother in Law about going there, I called it the "used food store" She swore it was fabulous...all I could think of was goodwill. ick.

Then on a trip she had these fabulous tick tacks. They were huge and yummy, of course she bought them at the grocery outlet. I humbled myself and went to find them.
Now for those who have never been to a grocery outlet you may think like I did...all the food would be wierd white labels with black type "peas". I was SO wrong. First thing in the doors was a HUGE crate of cheeze its for 99 cents. The boxes were banged up a bit but that was all...I bought 6 boxes. I walked though with my mouth agape. Tampons half the price of Costco. The $3 soy creamer at safeway was 79 cents and had more than a week left to expire. I was hooked! I do 80% of our shopping there. I get lunches in the freezer section and the most I ever pay is 2.49. I get pasta, crackers, all our cleaning supplies, candy, chips, cereal, granola bars, ice cream...if it comes in a box I get it there and I save about $100 a month on lunches alone.
I am in love...we date once a week. It is a great adventure, never know what I am going to find, it is new all the time. Aussie shampoo 2 bottles for 2.99 just last week!

HOLYCALORIES!!!!

Check out this article from MSN...it rates the 20 worst foods in US restaurants. Do you know how many calories are in an awesome blossom????

http://health.msn.com/nutrition/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100182334&page=1

I am SHOCKED at how many calories are in some of these items.

Work in progress

So last post I was discouraged. After the holiday I gained another 2 pounds...but our meeting leader handed each of us a tiny little eraser. She told us the eraser represented our erasing past mistakes or disappointments. Mine is a little orange fish. I decided to keep it in the change section of my wallet so I could see it and remember the past is in the past and there is nothing I can do about it. I lost .6 this week and I am happy. I was no where close to perfect but I tried. I wrote down what I ate even when I was ashamed I ate it.
I am a work in progress...and that is just fine with me.

On a side note...how sad is this whole Britney thing. My heart breaks for those boys! I hope she gets some help.

Hard...Hard...Hard

This week has been VERY hard. I was not able to weigh in a week ago due to some confusion between locations of my WW meetings. I weighed in the next week and had gained .8. I almost cried. I mean really, not an entire pound but I felt like a failure. Strange that I have tied so much to a number. I am anxious thinking about weighing, I obsess over what I eat the day before. Not just for calories but for the actual weight of the food. I am beginning to question the reason I am doing this. Do I find my worth in a number? Does my success or failure as a person equate to a number on a scale?
I took this week off, no counting...thinking it would clear my head. Instead I feel like a rebel. I am eating fudge and cake. Getting DQ treats.
I need balance.
I need balance.
I need balance.
This week I am going to try again. Try to follow the program and not let the number be my worth. I would apreciate any prayers...I believe God cares about this stuff, so if you have a minute I could use the support.

WOO WOO!!!

I lost another 2.2 this week! I am so happy...my total is 8.6 and I am so happy! I was a little worried that I had not done enough this week. I went to the gym 3x and sometimes that can cause me to retain water. Now I am more than half way to my christmas goal of 15.

I have been trying some new tricks with my eating. I started doing puree's of vegetables and adding them to our meals. I want to get more veggies and I get annoyed trying to eat an entire plate of broccoli. I put Acorn squash puree into a chicken pot pie last night. You would never know the difference. I am going to make a meatloaf that takes Carrot puree. I know most of the recipe's are meant for kids but I think we can all use a few more veggies. On another note...I used our food processor to do all this. First time since we got married. It made the whole process so much easier. I am trying to think of more things I can slice or blend or shred.

I am keeping on the same track...hopefully all the beer I will need for civil war will not cause too much trouble. Thanks for the support

Thankful...and still lost.

I am so happy to report I had a beautiful Thanksgiving and I still lost 2 pounds!!! The ladies at the meeting were so happy and surprised. I showed up at exactly 7am...and told them I had tried to be good. Only ate half my roll and one kind of pie. They called me a "stinker"...lol. I guess they were not expecting a loss...or for anyone to show up. I was thrilled! I had made an effort to enjoy the holiday and not make it about eating food. Hard, but not impossible. I thought about the flavors and textures and sights. I thought about how I could have some of all the things I wanted...but not too much. I had some of each thing...but no seconds. One piece of pie with non fat whip cream. I was happy, satisfied and not stuffed. Not ill from all the excess. Proud!

I am hoping to be down 9 more pounds by Christmas...I will keep on posting and I hope someone will be inspired to join me. It is not hard...it just takes beleiving you can succeed. If I can, you can!